Parachutes
(youre alone)
Its that sort of feeling
That you can only see
And not touch
The characteristics
of Copper
in the night sky
Beauty seen, not felt
A low-lying moon
Beneath the haze of Jupiter
Its an interplanetary state of mind
And youre a star
my little angel
Youre a star In the night sky
Shining Glowing
A dream of daybreak
And here daybreak
Among giants The Gloaming
Your hands turn cold The Gloaming
Your cheeks grow hot
And
You realize.















Comments
Nice job.
There is the end of what I can say about it.
...but I was wondering about the mixed use of words for "dawn" and "sunset" -- basically, did you mean to use the two terms or was it supposed to all be the same time of day?
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eh...that would only work in the sense of poetic and literary interpretation, however cool it may be. "Gloaming" is actually defined as twilight or dusk, in this case I chose twilight, but the point is that the sun has already set, so it isn't exactly sunset. Although, twilight can also occur before sunrise, or in this case, daybreak. It brings out other ways to interpret the piece...I don't want to go into things too much, I do want people to shape it on their own for themselves...
This is probably why I was contented by the concept and the words I was using when I wrote it...I could see variables, I like variables.
Thanks.
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